Week 41 - The New Arrival

Okay, so here goes the long story of the birth of Elba Aden Trowbridge II:

Monday morning, July 12 I woke at 7:20 am with a contraction that felt different from any I'd felt before. I fell back asleep but about 20 minutes later the same thing happen. I thought this might be the beginning of something. The pain itself wasn't it, and looking back now; gosh, it was really nothing pain wise, but this contraction lasted a little longer (maybe 5 seconds total) than anything I'd felt so far, which had mostly felt like menstrual cramps. At this point almost daily Mitch has been asking me, "Are you going to have my baby today?" This morning I said, "maybe". I told him what was going on and we both agreed that we shouldn't jump the gun though and went to work.
It occurred to me to start writing down contraction times at about 10:30AM. They stayed the same until about 2PM although they were slightly becoming a little more painful. They stayed about 8-15 minutes apart until a little before 3:30PM. I had two contractions that were six minutes apart and started to wrap things up at work for the day. I told my boss finally that I was heading home before I got stuck at work. My boss is pretty great and was more stressed than I was I think throughout the day. She would come in for constant updates and at one point said something like, "I can't handle this, do you have any chocolate?" I told it would be okay and asked if she needed to go home or if she was alright. We have a good relationship. :) Maybe I'm nuts for even going in to work, but really the other option was to stay home and drive myself crazy.
Okay, so when I got home Mitch and Damie were there and I told them to get the last minute items ready and to get things by the door because I was pretty sure we were going to be leaving for the hospital today. From 3:30 to about 8PM I was having contractions still 5-10 minutes apart and getting more painful. Damie and went for a walk to CVS. I didn't need anything, but I hoped walking would help speed things up. I was definitely every 5 minutes by the time I got home and they were painful enough that I wasn't quite able to talk through it. I called my Dr. and was told to go to the hospital and get checked. We loaded the car and off we went, well....after we had to turn around once because Mitch forgot his wallet! Haha
Mitch and I went into triage at about 10:30PM and I was examined. I had already been thinking about what I might be able to have for pain. I still wanted to not have the epidural but I thought something to take the edge off might be nice. The nurse hooked me up to monitors and told me I was only 2cm. She said she had to get me to 3 to admit me and talk about pain management options with my doctor. Okay, I said. So, in she goes and apparently manually got me to 3cm. I was not expecting this, although I guess I'm not really sure what she meant or had in mind, and I certainly wasn't expecting that much pain from the 'stretching'(?) she was doing. She seemed to enjoy my pain. I didn't like her much after that. Or that I had to sit there for an hour while they tried to contact my doctor. That hour was horrible and what the nurse told me was now I was in active labor. Every contraction was increasingly more painful and difficult to get through. I really underestimated the pain. Mitch had to remind me to keep breathing. I kept wanting to hold my breath. They were coming so quickly too, every 1-3 minutes...the thought of doing this for hours was totally overwhelming to me. I talked to the nurse about pain management options, but in the back of my head I already knew that I would get an epidural as soon as possible. My desire going into this was to go natural all the way. This logically made sense to me and I was pretty passionate and adamant about sticking to what I wanted - until the reality of the pain hit me like a truck!
The epidural was fairly painless. I was so nervous I would move or jump too much. It felt odd, that is the only way to describe it. Not painful, just weird. The anesthesiologist said I did fine though. It kicked in right away, I got set up on the two belly monitors (one for contractions, the other for baby's heart rate). Janet (Mitch's mom) arrived and I greeted her with a smile! I got itchy and felt stoned, but that was a thousand times easier to deal with than the contractions. I could watch a contraction happening on the monitor and feel nothing. This was awesome; this kind of active labor I could do! It was 12:30AM.
The hospital staff told us all to rest and sleep if we could. What a joke! Mitch and Damie were out for the next 8 or so hours. Janet fitfully slept I think and often was up asking if I was okay. It was impossible for me to sleep. The automatic blood pressure cuff goes off every so often and then tons of people keep coming in and asking questions, introducing themselves, checking this or that. At some point they decided to break my water. Soon after they did Elba's heart rate starting dropping. They put me on oxygen and started me on a saline internal pump because they thought he was laying on the umbilical cord after the water broke. I also had to be switched over to internal monitors as well as had been given a catheter earlier. I had I think 4 different wires and tubes coming out of me! I often gushed the saline/amniotic fluid often so I was constantly being changed and checked for dry linen and towels.
Around 5:30 or so I was starting to feel pressure in my bottom as well as some pain as the epidural was wearing off again. I asked to be checked and was found to be at 8cm! Oh boy, things were gonna get rolling here soon I thought. I know on average it takes a centimeter an hour however it can be a lot faster and often is. I asked for more epidural and they said no because they didn't want me too numb. An hour later I asked to be checked again because I was again having to moan through contractions, forcing myself to remember to breath. I was still at 8 - oh no! They also found that Elba was upside down. He was 'Sunny Side Up' looking up at the ceiling instead of the floor like he should. This makes sense, as I was also having some hip pain which was hurting more because I couldn't change positions. Elba also apparently only liked me to be on one side and his heart rate would drop when I tried to roll onto my right side. The on call doctor said that my doctor would be here at 7AM so I might actually have her here to deliver the baby. She was witness to a contraction and agreed to give me more epidural. About 7:30 my doctor came in and I made a joke about not being able to keep my appointment today with her at noon where we were going to talk about induction options since I was a week overdue.
She checked me and I was still at 8 - NOT good. Not only was he sunny side up, but he also had descended into the birth canal and wanted to come out, bumping my cervix with his head, causing a cervical lip basically of inflamed tissue that makes labor harder. She propped me into a position so that the baby might turn over the right way. I also agreed to start Pitocin. This was truly my choice. The doctor knew I didn't want pit originally and she said she'd wait all day...she said she was concerned though about the other small things but if I never got to 10 that didn't matter. She said the writing was already on the wall for a C-section. After another hour of nothing going on I agreed.
Mitch was able to come in with me but they did put up the big blue barrier so he couldn't see anything. I was shaking uncontrollable the entire time. My teeth were chattering. I tried to relax, to think of something else other than that I was being split open and my baby was being extracted from me. Mitch was holding my hand and whispering quietly to me that I was doing great and he was so proud of me. I just have to say that he was incredible the entire time. His support was amazing when I needed it and he reassured me the whole way. This process brought a whole different kind of intimacy between us that is so powerful.
Okay, back to the story! At 9:46AM July 13th Elba Aden Trowbridge II was born into this world weighing 9 lbs and was 22 inches long. Mitch was able to look over the curtain for a moment and see him laying on my chest. They showed me via mirror too, but it wasn't until he let loose that first cry that tears just started streaming down my face. My eyes are leaking now just recounting the story...what an intense emotional experience. The doctor told me at that point that she was glad we didn't even start pushing or anything because it wasn't possible that I would have been able to push him out because of his position. He was leading with his forehead also instead of tucking his chin like he should have. They wrapped him up and gave him to Mitch. It was hard for me to really see him very well and what I did see was sort of a big puffy red face that didn't resemble anything familiar. It sounds strange but it didn't really sink in that that was MY child...he looked so weird and strange. Maybe this is another thing that from having the cesarean and not releasing those hormones and all that would have been different.

Looking back, I wonder if the epidural might have caused the stall, or if I would have been in active labor for 10 hours if I hadn't taken it. But I also know that I really was thinking with each contraction that I didn't know how I'd get through the next one. I'm disappointed that I wasn't able to deliver vaginally, and hope that next time maybe things will be different. I know that often labor is a lot faster with a second birth also. I still feel the same about natural child birth (is that weird?) and I would like to try again...maybe next time with the professional help of a midwife, a tub to get in and out of, and maybe try to re-commit myself through education and practice. I don't have regrets about any of the decisions I made though, and I'm glad I got the epidural knowing know I couldn't have pushed him out. that would be an awful lot of pain to endure to then still have had to get the C section.

I'll wrap this entry up here, with just the birth story...but really there is so much more I want to write about. I'm finishing writing this on Elba's 5th day of life and have so much more to add than just the birth story, but for now...that is all you get (and mostly because he is starting to fuss in the swing and I know he is ready for a feeding; as I already said, he is the boss of me!)

I think my weight was right about 250 lbs going into the hospital.

2-5 Days Overdue

My friend Josh and I share this joke that I'm the boss of everyone. I have however found that I'm the boss of everyone except the baby clutching onto my insides while I try to shake him free - too much of a visual there? :) I really do imagine he looks like Santa Claus finding that someone left a fire on at the bottom of the chimney and he has braced himself; arms, legs and back wedged against all sides of my cervix stating that he 'aint going anywhere yet'. I tried creative visualization last night. My visions of opening flowers are apparently not strong enough to ellicit any kind of action.

Neil, my step-father headed back to Illinois last night.

Every twinge my uterus makes I am hopefull that it is the start of labor. Every time I use the bathroom or shower I'm eagerly awaiting the sight of the plug (gross, but true)! Every morning this week I've woken and gotten dressed for work I wonder if it will be last. I wonder if I won't even have the baby until my Grandparents are driving back from Maryland to Chicago on the 14th. I imagined them visiting me at home after a week of recovery instead of potentially at the hospital.

I'm ready to start punching people out at work. Not just for asking when I'm gonna have the baby (really, like I'm crossing my legs and not letting him out!) but also because I think pregnancy hormones are starting make me grouchy. Really, I'm a bit more short tempered and iritable I think. I know, like duh! but I've been really good I think up until this last week. I'M DONE - I'm done being a good sport about pregnancy and everything else! Oh man, fingers are crossed and bets are being made that sometime over the weekend it will happen. I hope so! Mitch and I were just talking about what he will look like and I can't wait to see the little buggaroo!

Week 40 - Show me the BABY!

So there I was, the night of July 3rd, I got home from a friend's birthday BBQ and I started having contractions and things were looking exciting! I even called Mitch (who had stayed at the get together) to warn him I might be calling for him to come home if this kept up, fingers crossed. I knew what to do, they all say get sleep while you can! It was 11:30 PM so I went to go to sleep, wondering if I might wake in a few hours with a wet bed or something. As soon as I laid down everything stopped. Damn Braxton Hicks.
July 4th - the Due Date - we went to Mitch's moms house for BBQ and awaited my step father and sister's arrival from Chicago. We fished, swam and had a good time...without even a hiccup of any kind of contractions. Damn.
July 5th - I go to work and everyone is disappointed to see me. This begins what will continue everyday, increasingly turning into even looks of disdain, "You haven't had that baby yet?!" It's on everyone's lips and faces, mocking me.
July 6th - I'm excited for my 9AM doctors appointment to confirm that at least SOMETHING is happening. Actually not, I'm not even dilating at all. Still zero, damn! They want to wait another week to see what happens. Oh man.
July 7th - I'm getting a lot of things done at work that I didn't think I'd be able to. My belly is getting even bigger and heavier...it is starting to hurt. Getting out of bed every two hours at night to pee is really starting to suck...my hips and crotch hurt most of all then. But the good news is during the day I'm not to the miserable state that so many other preggos get to at this point...I'm still smiling and going through the motions.

Week 39 - Git In MEH BELLY!

I was walking over to the pool today (no comment yet on how awesome I look in my bathing suit right now!) and I was having great appreciation for family and friends. I haven't purchased anything for baby yet, and I have everything I need for now. Yeah, I know I will certainly have lots of out of pocket in a bit with whopping (mmm...I want some Whoppers, the candy kind, not the cheeseburger) hospital bills, but I'm lucky to have the support that I do to make this part easy. With having to buy a new car a few months ago and still paying off my student loans, not to mention the rest of the regular bills, money is tight...and this is just one thing that I've not had to think about...and I was thinking about that today. That I have an incredible support system of family and friends and how some people don't have that. It made me very appreciative for everyone in my life.

So, my last Tuesday doctor appointment revealed that I'm just starting to dilate, but not even to 1 yet, so still looking to be on time. I'm wondering if I might go over though. He hasn't even dropped yet, which can happen as early as the 35th week.

I was also thinking a lot about body image today. It started because as I was walking over to the pool, wearing my suit and cover-up I became aware that my thighs were rubbing together while walking. Not just a little bit up at the top which is normal for me, but the entire thigh area pretty much down to my knees. So here's the thing; this didn't bother me one bit. There was no twinge of guilt, not a negative thought at all...in fact, I felt very good that I was even walking my swollen enlarged self over to the pool to swim, in public, in a too tight bathing suit. I have really accepted my physical form that I've struggled against since senior year when I started to put on weight and into adulthood as I continued; obsessed with food, diet, exercise, etc. I haven't yo-yo'ed like Oprah, but I've gone through the stages that I suppose most people have through adulthood; put it on, take it off, try this diet or that, a cleansing fast here or there, eliminate this or only eat that; exercise commitments held then abandoned, glaring looks to the desk that binds me, or sometimes the couch. Top it off with the ever frustrating thyroid issues that make all efforts sometimes seem for naught and I've been a guilt ridden, down on myself kind of girl with moments of clarity, strength and focus for over ten years now ever since I grew out of the 32 inch waist mens jeans I wore in high school (either I didn't have a junior's section or I didn't know it existed, but men's jeans made my butt look better than the 'mom jean' alternative in the women's section. Anywho, the point of all this was that I'm now at my heaviest (I just went over my previous heaviest weight I think thanks to those aforementioned milkshakes) and I'm the happiest with my body in a long time. I don't know why this is or if any other ladies experience this thinking solely linked to pregnancy in some way, but I feel great in my adult skin for one of the first times 100%, stretch marks, cellulite and all! As much as I'm ready to be able to be limber at the waist again, I think I'm going to miss my belly. Well, I'm hungry and there is a full kitchen of assorted items calling and whispering to me that I should pick this over that, but I'm sort of in the mood for crab rangoons to be honest, but that seems like so much effort!

38 Weeks - Anytime Now

Last Tuesday I had my first check under the hood and the doctor said that my cervix is ripening (softening) but there is no dilation or anything else exciting going on right now, which means so far I'm right on schedule. I am now going to be getting checked every Tuesday since technically I'm now within the two weeks of my due date and could go at any time now! Woah!

Mitch had his first baby dream this week. He said he couldn't remember the details exactly, but he remembered he was putting the baby to sleep and he looked down and saw his cute little face. He's ready; he keeps telling me to give him his baby! We went to his favorite breakfast spot for "not first Father's Day". He is adamant that he is not celebrating his first Fathers Day this year. He didn't really resist though when throughout the day he was getting his way only because it was Fathers Day. :)

I'm still feeling the same; good overall. I went over to my friend Erin's house last night and her mom painted my belly. She did this nice sunset scene of a dragon bending down and kissing a baby dragon. I'll upload pictures as soon as I can. I really need to take some artsy belly pictures if I'm gonna do it before I go into labor here. I've been having some random contractions, but nothing really too exciting. I think I'll go right to my due date, if not over. I've had it too easy to go early on top of it!

37 Weeks - Old People Say the Darndest Things!

I have heard this week both, "Is there something wrong with the baby, you are too small for 9 months!" as well as, "Are you sure you don't have twins in there?" from residents at the senior housing community I work at. For everyone's information, I've gained about 30 lbs and haven't gained any in the last few weeks (which is normal), despite my getting rounder. This means the baby is stealing my fat; take it I say! I'm actually quite proud of my weight gain through this. I'm not yet past the highest number I've ever seen when stepping on the scale (about 6 years ago I was 240 at my heaviest). I put on a most weight surprisingly in the first trimester, I think from lack of energy and giving into cravings. Otherwise, I've maintained a healthful diet with lots of fruit, veggies, dairy and grain. I haven't eaten much meat, but I've substituted eggs and cottage cheese so I can still get protein as well as lots of green leafy for iron. The way I was packin' on the pounds at first I thought for sure I was going to gain at least 50 lbs by the end, but third trimester really slowed for weight gain. I think it also helps that my stomach is squished so much that I can't eat much before being full, and I know if I get to that point that I'll have heartburn like a mother! Actually, heartburn has become the chronic norm now unfortunately. I was able to keep it under control the last month or so with Tums and glasses of milk. But now, the only thing that helps...is a milkshake! I know what you are thinking, "Yeah, right...okay Amy, a milkshake is the 'only thing' that will help, how terrible." But really, and I'm not really a milkshake kind of person either. I'd rather go straight for the ice cream....but milkshakes it is right now! Yeah, and they are tasty too! I'm a bit nervous that this habit will start the pounds packin' again. Did you know that a milkshake/frosty/jamoca shake is like a million times worse than say an ice cream cone? Something about the different kinds of mix they use for each. I would eat the ice cream cone if I thought it would do the same thing...but magically it doesn't. I'm not kidding; milkshakes FTW!

Yesterday my co-workers had a surprise baby shower for me at work with the residents. It was really very nice. My co-workers chipped in on a wagon filled with goodies, and some residents brought gifts too. I was very touched by the whole thing. I mean really, the generocity of everyone, some of which hardly know me...it was really too nice!

This weekend Janet is hosting my baby shower in Michigan. I've been very bad at attending social gatherings lately, as I've said before, so I'm really looking forward to seeing all my lady friends. My good friend Erin is also going to be in town since she moved out of state a while ago, I'm so happy to get to spend some time with her too!

In a few days I'll be going to my doctor appointment and they will inspect me for the first time, looking to see if I'm dialated at all. I'm pretty excited to have some sort of indication if I'll be on time or not. I still need to pack my hospital bag! I did install the car seat last night though! :) Tonight I think Mitch and I will put together the crib that was delivered the other day! Its all happening!

36 Weeks - One Month to Go?!

How time flies by! I can't believe in one month (or maybe even sooner-yikes!) that day is coming that I'll drive to the hospital, undergo the most painful experience that I've had so far and be rewarded with meeting the new human life that I've been growing inside my body. That is crazy talk I tell you!

Last weekend Mitch's mom (Janet) and I drove to Illinois for my baby shower. It was really nice, aside from the no punch! :) Really, there was no punch but it was the joke all day, "Who doesn't serve punch at a baby shower!" Janet assured me that we would have punch at my Michigan shower. The night before my shower I had a nightmare that I was at the baby shower and I started to bleed. I called for my aunt to help me and she had her friend (who happened to be a nurse) come to my aid. The lady told me that nothing was wrong, but I was going to have the baby now. I started crying and yelling that I couldn't have the baby here; I needed to call Mitch and he would be so mad if I had the baby without him. Then I realized that I hadn't even packed the hospital bag so I'd have to tell him what to grab first too. Then I realized I didn't have a car seat yet either. I decided that I needed to fly back home to Detroit to have the baby and that would be faster than driving, so I headed off the the airport. There was more drama in the airport with security but I woke up somewhere in there.

Thankfully I got the stroller/car seat travel system at the baby shower so that part of my nightmare has been relieved! I plan on packing the hospital bag soon and there aren't anymore plans of fleeing Michigan this late in the game. My aunt Natalie and Aunt Coleen threw the shower and it was great; good food and excellent company. It was really good to see my family and to have Janet meet everyone too. I got to see some that I haven't seen in a very long time. I was a little disappointed that some of my extended cousins didn't make it, but it was Memorial Day weekend afterall!

No new baby info...I'm just getting bigger. I can't bend over to touch my toes and maybe I've developed a little bit of a waddle. I wonder each time I shave my legs if it will be the last time...its almost getting there. My last doctors appointment I did the Strep B culture and I'll find out if I have it. Then I go each week for the last three weeks. I have a theory that I will give birth to this child on exactly the due date because I've had such the perfect pregnancy. Next appointment they will start checking things out to tell me if I'm dialated at all yet!

Well, I have many thank you cards to get out and Mitch is waiting for me at Mom's for our 'camping' weekend with some friends. The last two weeks have really flown by, and I can't decide if I want the next two to fly by also, or if I'd rather sort of savor the time of naps and watching my belly move! :)