There is nothing more amazing than seeing my son smile up at me, even giving a small coo. My son has mastered the 'social smile'; that which is elicited after my own. At first, we thought it was still gas. Mitch had me convinced that I was wrong, but then he saw it too. And now it is a sure thing; his little angelic smile lights up his face, my spirit and makes me revert to baby talk to get more!
And now I'll write about the not so pleasant. My child is officially colicky. The good news is that armed with the book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child" I understand the predicament better, albeit there is still nothing I can do about it. I'm happy to know that the worst is likely over though, as he is reaching six weeks from the due date. I'm learning a lot about the difference between extreme colic, which is what we all think of; the incessant inconsolable crying for hours on end and another type of colic, generally ignored because it is constant fussing that would lead to crying if not for the dedicated consoling efforts of the parents. This second type is my child. Let me explain...
I think I haven't hit this topic before for two reasons. One, it is difficult to update the blog during these trying times (seriously, it was easier when I was hiking!) and I also didn't want to dwell on the negative. When Mitch and I first brought Elba home we congratulated ourselves on our perfect baby. He would wake to eat and pretty much go right back to sleep. This lasted I think a week or so I think. He became much more alert (quite to our surprise and excitement). It turns out this might not have been that much of a blessing, as now I see he probably wasn't getting as much sleep as he should. This started the night fussing. 10pm to 3am has generally been the fuss zone. I thought (and now I know a very common one) that maybe something I was doing was wrong; I cut out dairy completely as well as caffeine, we bought gas drops and experimented with the assorted soothing methods, including the bouncy chair, swing, rocker, noise machines, vacuum cleaner, running water, light on/off, quiet and daily activity noise, snugli holding, rocking, patting, driving, walking, EVERYTHING. What worked one minute or one day didn't then next or after about ten minutes. This would last hours...we were at a loss and very sleep deprived.
I never thought he was colicky because I know 'colic' means the whole crying/screaming bit and we were doing a good job of stopping it from getting that far. Elba would just be extremely agitated, get red faced, arch his back, etc. and just seem very unhappy and uncomfortable. I now know there is nothing that can be done, except for exactly what we are doing. There are many theories on what causes colic/fussiness but no for sure answers except that it occurs in 20% of infants, peaks at 6 weeks and is gone after 3 months. Aside from that, good luck...don't throw your baby out a window and do the best you can. Awesome. I never wanted to throw him out a window, but there were several late night sob sessions on my end.
When I was in Chicago for the three (?) nights, there was no crying/fussiness at night. This was right after stopping dairy, caffeine and getting the gas drops. I thought that was the solution. We were right back at it when I got home. I couldn't figure out what was different. I weaned myself back on some coffee (I had to, really) and sometimes it was all I could do to make a bowl of cereal and scarf it down, so with the addition of dairy again....nothing changed again.
At Elba's month check up we talked to the pediatrician about his night time fussiness and she suggested the above mentioned book. I downloaded it to the Kindle and I'm cramming when I can. But again, at this point there isn't much that we can do that we aren't already doing, except wait it out. It is good to have confirmation though that it isn't anything that I'm necessarily doing wrong.
Okay, its 11pm and he just started to fuss from sleep....I know where this is going...
Weight: 210
Have you tried Dr. Karp's colic calming methods from The Happiest Baby on the Block? They were a god-send for our family, couldn't have got through colic without them. Give it a try!
ReplyDeleteHeh, now I get to say it to you. Reading your blog - it's like I wrote it myself. :) Jack was the same way, from trying EVERYTHING to thoughts of throwing out the window (not really, but that's something we joked about a LOT actually)!!! It really does get better with age. He took forever though, especially on the sleeping. I, too, brought him to bed where nights went so much better. But Aaron hated it and by about 7 months he'd had enough. That's when we let Jack cry it out and it was UGLY. It did eventually work, but was extremely stressful, and he never was what I'd call a good sleeper. And there were plenty of times he would revert and seem worse just when you thought you were making progress -- reverting is common.
ReplyDeleteOh I'm sorry, am I scaring you? :) Well maybe you'll get lucky. They really are all different. Just remember everything is a phase and really it's pretty short-lived, especially when they are that small.