False Alarm! Still Pregnant...

The first couple of months were a bit wacky. Basically, Mitch and I agreed that although we were both scared and less prepared than maybe we would have liked, we were happy and excited about having a baby together. At first we decided not to tell people, but both of us were too excited to hold it in and started to spread the news to family and friends. Just as soon as we had really gotten that ball rolling, a very scary Saturday morning happened in which we thought we lost the baby.

GROSS WARNING - I was walking through the kitchen when I felt a wetness. I looked down and was horrified to see that my pink pajama pants had bright red blood soaking through the legs. I called to Mitch and told him I was bleeding. He met me in the bathroom and asked if I was okay, what could he do. I told him that I wasn't in any pain, I just started bleeding all of a sudden. I was sitting on the toilet and I felt some bigger clots pass. I thought, "Oh God, that was it...that was the baby."

I just sat there, not really sure what to do. I wasn't bleeding very heavily anymore. Mitch jumped on Google told me what the signs of miscarriage were (I didn't have any pain or cramping) and also told me that sometimes your body rejects the fetus for no reason, a surprising 25% of first pregnancies end up miscarried for no reason. I got in the shower and by the time I finished, I felt sort of numb. Not physically, I mean emotionally. Physically, I was totally fine. There was still no pain or cramping and then I sort of had a normal period for the next few hours.

Over the next week we broke the news to friends and family that I'd lost the baby. He and I went to Chicago to visit my family for Thanksgiving. I had a glass of wine, now that I 'wasn't pregnant' anymore. When we got back I went to my regular OB/GYN. He didn't want to do an ultrasound and just took my blood, saying we could look at it now and then in another week to determine if I needed to have a DNC or if everything would pass naturally. Well, two weeks later (it was hard to get a responce from him or his office), he tells me he doesn't like the results and needs to see me in his office as soon as possible. Of course, I start worrying. At this point, I had told my boss because I had several doctor appointments going on.

Mitch and I drive to the doctor's main office in Monroe and first thing they do is an ultrasound. I explain the situation to the technician (they couldn't find my chart and weren't sure why I was there; I've since changed doctors). The tech tells me that I certainly don't need a DNC because there is a perfectly healthy baby in there the right size (11 weeks now), and turns the speaker on so we can hear the heartbeat. OHMYGOODNESS!!! We were totally surprised, and thrilled. We both got a bit teary and left the office with our first baby pictures to show off. Can you imagine? I really was scared that something was very wrong with me, that I had a disease or my insides were all messed up. I really didn't think, "oh hey, you are still pregnant. Congrats!"

We called everyone a second time. I've found out since that there are two possibilites, either a vanishing twin, or that blood gets sort of trapped between the uterus and amniotic sac that finally made its way out in a splash. My current doctor (who I like very much and knows my and Mitch's names!) said its nothing to worry about and just sort of happens sometimes. Okay by me!

I think I'm sort of glad things happened that way. Even though it was scary, Mitch and I realized how sad we were that we had 'lost the baby', and talked about trying again maybe in a few months when we were a bit more prepared. Before, I think maybe at first it was something that happened and okay, that is what is happening, lets work it out. But then when we both started talking about how we were sad and really happy and excited about the baby, it was that much sweeter to know we were still on that track.