Nightmare

Many years ago I fell asleep in the passenger seat driving home from a NERO event. While asleep I had a dream in which I was sitting in that same spot, looking out the window and all of a sudden there was a 'pop', a hole in the window and blood splatter. In the dream, I looked over to the driver of the vehicle and was starting to say that I've been shot, but then my vision started fading and I couldn't talk, ultimately leading to me slumping over. At that moment, I jolted awake in the car and was disoriented and confused. It took me a second to realize I'd just been dreaming. I was elated at the realization that I wasn't dying and everything was fine. I cheerily told my boyfriend who was driving about the 'freaky' dream I just had and how weird it was.

The other night something similar happened, but it was not freaky or weird, it was downright horrifying and I still can't shake it. I was sleeping in bed and dreamt that I was sitting in bed and Elba was sitting playing on the floor beside me eating pieces of an apple. I can vividly remember the bright red skin of the piece that he started to choke on, completely blocked his airway and caused his whole head to turn red, his eyes to widen, and I witnessed my sons panicked thrashing as I jumped up out of bed to grab him and begin the Heimlich. All of a sudden there were pillows on the floor, it is dark and Elba must have slipped around the corner when I was getting up because now he is gone! I'm shaking with adrenaline, and flinging the pillows on the ground around, maybe he is under one? I flipped the light on and was trying to keep myself from throwing up so I could find Elba...good lord, he was choking and might die soon! I couldn't find him, he had disappeared. I'm now aware that Lou is sitting up in bed looking at me scared, "What?! What's wrong?" I can't explain the whole thing, but I'm pissed that he isn't looking for Elba too. "I can't...I can't...I can't find it" is what I think I said. "What? What can't you find?" he asked, and it was actually him that brought me back to reality and made me realize that Elba was fine, in bed asleep and I had been too. I was shaking so bad I thought I might fall over, so I remember squatting down and getting on the floor and then just laughing at the realization. Lou told me that he had woken up not by the commotion or the light being turned on, but rather by my blood curdling scream. I don't remember screaming at any point. I think I woke up when I was getting out of bed, but I'm honestly not sure...I was never aware that I woke up, that anything had changed, and I was so disoriented that I didn't for a second realize that the continuity of Elba missing didn't make sense. It was so real....and so very scary.