Roan Mountain Decision

There were a few other people at Greasy Creek Friendly, but I honestly don't remember them. They were all planning on walking like a million miles the next day and I was not, so I didn't bother getting to know them. Connie (CC), the hostel owner was very nice and freely shared her beliefs on lots of things with me. I embraced her suggestion to read a book, "How to eat for your blood type" which sounds like it makes a lot of sense. I got the 2 packages Dad sent - thank you, and the package Mom sent.

I spent my computer time uploading pictures today - so enjoy those and know I'm doing well.

I met Genius when I got back to the trail - and it is a good thing too, because I wasn't entirely sure which way was north! We walked and talked for a short bit and he stopped at the next shelter to take a nap. It seems he isn't feeling well. I signed the register, had a snack and kept on. I stopped at this little spot among the pine trees (my favorite) for lunch and laid on the ground for a break. I laid looking at the sky, thinking...I realize at this moment that I'm a camper, a day hiker or even a weekend backpacker. I would rather pitch my tent here and relax, but there are supposed to be thunderstorms tonight and I've only walked about 4 or 5 miles. It occurs to me later, but I'll mention it now- I'm sick of doing what I don't feel like doing out of commitment outside of work obligations. This is my life, I only get one - and I'm going to start living it my way without the pressure of 'shoulding' myself when it comes to my personal life. Maybe everything won't get done efficiently or sometimes even at all, but I'll be a lot happier!
Okay, so I continue on, cross a road and start up Roan Mountain. This is going to be a 3 mile ascent going up over 2,000 feet. I run out of water, I trip and wipe out at one point (thats gonna leave a mark!), and it starts to rain. I'm sick of rain - it has rained or snowed almost every day out here and the days it hasn't have almost all been on a zero day - this is unusual I'm told, but it doesn't help my rapidly increasing hatred of moisture in the air. Spicoli passes me after we talk for a minute. We haven't seen each other since Franklin and we update each other on our counterparts. Moe also creeps up behind me - this girl is FAST! She is just as surprised to see me until I explain that I skipped from Hot Springs to Greasy Creek. We talk about 'owning your decision'. I get interviewed by some day hikers very curious about what I'm doing and why - these questions maybe couldn't come at a better or worse time (either might apply). A few southbound slackpackers pass me, including Ned the Fed whom I've heard so much about and hadn't ever met.
I'm at Asch gap and still have 2 miles up. I don't want to do this anymore. I feel drained of all motivation to continue up this mountain or up any others. After conquering so many other mountains, winning while climbing...I know that this one is defeating me. I think of the road I passed and wonder where it might go. Could those slackpackers have a shuttle there picking them up that I could catch? I contemplate my options as it pours and thunder rumbles around me. I'm done - I turn around and head down the mountain - defeated? No, actually feeling totally relieved! I'm proud of everything I've done and how far I've gone, but I'm not enjoying it and that is the most important part for me right now. It took only a few hours of being alone with myself to figure out that I'm done with this part. My adventure is not over, not at all, but I'm done thru hiking the AT. And it might sound strange, but for me and the way I know I am, I'm proud of myself for quitting and being honest with myself about how I feel. I'm sorry to anyone who feels disappointment at this, if you were looking forward to the whole journey. There are a lot of great people's trail journals to read that are still walking, I'm just going to change up my adventure.
Moving on with the story of this day, I get to the road and nobody is there. I picked the direction I thought might be north (I was right!) and that brought me to a house about a quarter mile down where I found four very helpful and wonderful guys. We took some time to get to know each other and I stayed at the house that night. They fed and entertained me with southern hospitality, humor and storytelling. I got a ride the next day to Linville, North Carolina and stayed at the Pixie Inn. I met a few locals staying in the next room, one guy who is also thinking of hiking the trail. We talked gear a bit and one of them offered to give me a ride to Damascus in a few days. I called Cristy later that night to see if she was still thinking of coming to Trail Days. She talked to Nate and everything is good. In fact, she is on her way here to pick me up and we will head to Damascus together! I'm so excited to see lover chicken!