Deep Thoughts After

I want to write down and capture all the things I've thought of so I don't let them slip by. These are all thoughts I've had to some degree while walking that I haven't had the time to really write about, and I want to take the time to do it now.

I see food differently, as a source of energy and sustenance. I'm able to clearly distinguish eating for necessity from other reasons we often eat. I can feel hunger differently and know what a proper portion is. I want to change things in my diet. I want to read Eat for your Blood Type which was recommended by Connie at Greasy Creek Friendly. I also want to explore vegetarian and more healthful cooking, inspired by Elmers. I'm aware of how I feel after eating certain foods or too much and that feeling of sick isn't worth it.

I see my body differently, as a powerful vehicle that needs better care to be used to its fullest (or at least better) potential. I see the trivial things like body hair, pimples, bruises and blisters as parts of the whole rather than imperfections to remedy and dote on instead of seeing the whole. And the whole is a lot better than the way I saw it before. I'm ready to take better care of my physical vessel.

I see people much differently, especially those that aren't the same as me. I feel that they have even more to teach me. I've been humbled by the people I've met, some of which I might have judged before, I appreciate for their differences, simplicity, complications, etc. I really have fallen back in love with people.

We learn of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs in school and it makes sense in a theoretical world, but I'd never been without the basic needs to really appreciate the extras. And now, I feel the need to simplify those extras because I think it blinds you, takes you off course from what is important and what matters. Your physical crap accumulating doesn't matter. Having food, shelter and clothing matter, then people and your relationships with them. Too many (including me) stock our homes full of things to try to fill the emptiness in our hearts. After taking care of our basic needs we should look for happiness through life and laughter.

I see myself differently. I was always measuring before. Mostly against myself, not others. But even still, I was measuring things that don't matter, like my future plan for "success" or how to get there the "right way" and a lot of black and white thinking. I've always been pretty free with money, as a means to an end and not minding spending for others or myself. However, I see frugality as more of an asset inasmuch to find different ways to achieve the same results without spending money at all. I think I've also been much too hard on myself and too consumed with the exterior picture instead of the real inside. The real inside is so much more important, and when you are happy with that the exterior will look good too, maybe just in a different way. I judged others, but hardest of all, myself. To what measuring stick though? A pretty screwed up one when I didn't have any good answers to the question. I think even the questions were deterring and assuming certain truths that are completely fictitious. The reality is this: I simply am what I am.