Sunday, June 3, 2012
1 < 2
Yup, we are one month shy of 2 years now since that boy was cut out of me. I wonder if the memory will ever fade because I can still recall the entire thing, from those first morning contractions to coming home with Elba and gathering him up because I just wanted to hold him while he slept. It is refreshing to think of the beginning and reflect on all the love and joy he brings because it isn't always roses.
If nothing else, I'm honest for better or worse, right? Elba has been coming into the terrible twos now for a few months and he is just hell on wheels sometimes. When he doesn't need help or wants to do something by himself, he will yell 'self', or 'my turn'. He is a little fiery ball of independence - I don't know where he gets it from. I'm learning that patience and allowing extra time is generally a good way to avoid meltdowns, but sometimes it just can't be avoided, like when he wants to drive the car home or doesn't want to get in his car seat, or have it buckled, or wants a fifth popsicle after not eating any diner. You have to put your foot down somewhere, right? But he is a good boy and listens so well most of the time. He keeps his full cup of juice where you tell him to keep it and happily climbs into his big boy bed when it is time to go to sleep, but he currently hates taking a bath and that is a constant struggle despite fun toys, bath crayons, roller paints and stack-able cups. Its like a circus in the tub and he still wants nothing to do with it. He knows at some point I will wash his hair.
We are falling to our routine, he and I - we get up in the morning and struggle to get out the door on time. I really should wake earlier and get myself ready before he wakes and things could be easier. I'm really just not a morning person. I struggle and always have to get up out of bed any earlier than I have to. Okay, I'm going to work on this. I go to work (and I've officially started looking for a new job), come home and am now so tired that I'm counting down until his bedtime. How horrible is that? What is worse is that I miss him after he is asleep. I do wish I had more time with Elba - but in the morning when he is still his normal self. I get the leftover fragmented bits of my child that are left loose, whipping around and taking out bits of flesh along the way. Okay, I exaggerate yes, but how much I'm not sure. I love him and wish I had more fun easy time with him. In the evening though I just want him to tucker out and go to bed. I think is a part of that terrible two thing that I hope will pass into something less tiring. I'm exhausted at the end of the day, but who am I kidding...it's been that way here in Chicago since I moved back. Is it the job, Elba's age, my stress - I don't know. I feel like I'm burning the candle from both ends sometimes. And it isn't that I have anything to really do or get stressed out about really. Maybe with him acting crazy for most of the time that I'm with him and my lack of energy to do much with the free time I have I am missing those lazy weekends where I would feel guilty having done nothing but sit inside and play computer games over the weekend. Or camping - I want to go camping and just read alone, or go on a day hike and have some peaceful quiet alone time. I know how terrible it all sounds and I feel bad for saying it, but I miss parts of my life that are gone or hiding, tucked away for reference later. I feel like my life is a mission right now. I'm doing this thing - this Mom thing, to the best of my ability - and there are fabulous parts and some really fun and joyous moments....but it is a lot of crap too that really is challenging at best.
I have a lot of resentment toward Mitchel right now too, I admit. I shouldn't be doing this alone. He gets to do whatever he wants, holding tight to making no significant changes in his life (that was in fact the problem, right?) or the ones he does for the wrong reason. Forget the lack of financial support promised, I'm mad for so many reasons at him that I can't stay at his house right now any longer than the time it takes to drop off and pickup Elba at the moment. Otherwise he just grates on me; and it doesn't end there. See, I obsess about things inside and having a 5 hour silent drive after faced with Mitchel's lies, or his flagrant misuse of money, bad judgment and worst of all disregard of his son; it is no time for hours upon hours alone in my head. I'm learning - on past trips I've worked a good emotional storm up in my head so much that after stopping for gas I got on the expressway heading in the wrong direction and didn't realize it for a good 30 miles. I don't know how to turn it off...I would if I could and I've always been this way. I'd be a happier saner person if I could stop obsessing picking it all over in my mind like that sore in your mouth you just can't stop tonguing and let heal. And on some melancholy nights it will sneak up on me and I'll cry for Elba - that things couldn't have been different for him or better for me. I know that I'd enjoy this more if it weren't such hard work by myself.
On a brighter note, I've started to do things for myself; I just finished reading the last book in the second trilogy since April. I haven't read this much since high school. I went and played NERO recently and had a great time, feeling like my old self for less than 48 hours. That is all I can think of to say right now.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
April Fool
April 1st already; I've been back for 6 months now. Elba will be 2 years old in four months now. He is talking a lot now; he is a sponge and repeats everything he hears. He understands everything too; the TV got turned on and the volumne was very high. I commented that it was too loud and then later when we were in the car, he tells me that the radio is loud. Amazing.
So, this is a tough job...and I feel like it is hard for me to know what the right thing to do is; with everything. I'm wondering if now that I'm here I should start looking for a higher paying job. Should I purchase a townhouse instead of throwing my money away in rent now. This will all mean yet more change for Elba; how much can he handle without having a bad adjustment? Oh, things with Louis and I aren't quit working out so he is heading back to Michigan. Yet another change. I'm done dating and trying to work out a relationship; quite possibly the one area in my life that maybe I'm just downright bad at. I don't want to get into all the nitty gritty, but in a nutshell I think he isn't ready for all this and we aren't very complimentary of eachother. Maybe that is something that could have been seen if we had actually dated for longer, but such is life. I don't do anything half assed. It's always been all or nothing for me. Okay, so that is that. I should have stayed living at my aunt's...I can hear all of the 'I told you so's.
So, this is a tough job...and I feel like it is hard for me to know what the right thing to do is; with everything. I'm wondering if now that I'm here I should start looking for a higher paying job. Should I purchase a townhouse instead of throwing my money away in rent now. This will all mean yet more change for Elba; how much can he handle without having a bad adjustment? Oh, things with Louis and I aren't quit working out so he is heading back to Michigan. Yet another change. I'm done dating and trying to work out a relationship; quite possibly the one area in my life that maybe I'm just downright bad at. I don't want to get into all the nitty gritty, but in a nutshell I think he isn't ready for all this and we aren't very complimentary of eachother. Maybe that is something that could have been seen if we had actually dated for longer, but such is life. I don't do anything half assed. It's always been all or nothing for me. Okay, so that is that. I should have stayed living at my aunt's...I can hear all of the 'I told you so's.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Nightmare
Many years ago I fell asleep in the passenger seat driving home from a NERO event. While asleep I had a dream in which I was sitting in that same spot, looking out the window and all of a sudden there was a 'pop', a hole in the window and blood splatter. In the dream, I looked over to the driver of the vehicle and was starting to say that I've been shot, but then my vision started fading and I couldn't talk, ultimately leading to me slumping over. At that moment, I jolted awake in the car and was disoriented and confused. It took me a second to realize I'd just been dreaming. I was elated at the realization that I wasn't dying and everything was fine. I cheerily told my boyfriend who was driving about the 'freaky' dream I just had and how weird it was.
The other night something similar happened, but it was not freaky or weird, it was downright horrifying and I still can't shake it. I was sleeping in bed and dreamt that I was sitting in bed and Elba was sitting playing on the floor beside me eating pieces of an apple. I can vividly remember the bright red skin of the piece that he started to choke on, completely blocked his airway and caused his whole head to turn red, his eyes to widen, and I witnessed my sons panicked thrashing as I jumped up out of bed to grab him and begin the Heimlich. All of a sudden there were pillows on the floor, it is dark and Elba must have slipped around the corner when I was getting up because now he is gone! I'm shaking with adrenaline, and flinging the pillows on the ground around, maybe he is under one? I flipped the light on and was trying to keep myself from throwing up so I could find Elba...good lord, he was choking and might die soon! I couldn't find him, he had disappeared. I'm now aware that Lou is sitting up in bed looking at me scared, "What?! What's wrong?" I can't explain the whole thing, but I'm pissed that he isn't looking for Elba too. "I can't...I can't...I can't find it" is what I think I said. "What? What can't you find?" he asked, and it was actually him that brought me back to reality and made me realize that Elba was fine, in bed asleep and I had been too. I was shaking so bad I thought I might fall over, so I remember squatting down and getting on the floor and then just laughing at the realization. Lou told me that he had woken up not by the commotion or the light being turned on, but rather by my blood curdling scream. I don't remember screaming at any point. I think I woke up when I was getting out of bed, but I'm honestly not sure...I was never aware that I woke up, that anything had changed, and I was so disoriented that I didn't for a second realize that the continuity of Elba missing didn't make sense. It was so real....and so very scary.
The other night something similar happened, but it was not freaky or weird, it was downright horrifying and I still can't shake it. I was sleeping in bed and dreamt that I was sitting in bed and Elba was sitting playing on the floor beside me eating pieces of an apple. I can vividly remember the bright red skin of the piece that he started to choke on, completely blocked his airway and caused his whole head to turn red, his eyes to widen, and I witnessed my sons panicked thrashing as I jumped up out of bed to grab him and begin the Heimlich. All of a sudden there were pillows on the floor, it is dark and Elba must have slipped around the corner when I was getting up because now he is gone! I'm shaking with adrenaline, and flinging the pillows on the ground around, maybe he is under one? I flipped the light on and was trying to keep myself from throwing up so I could find Elba...good lord, he was choking and might die soon! I couldn't find him, he had disappeared. I'm now aware that Lou is sitting up in bed looking at me scared, "What?! What's wrong?" I can't explain the whole thing, but I'm pissed that he isn't looking for Elba too. "I can't...I can't...I can't find it" is what I think I said. "What? What can't you find?" he asked, and it was actually him that brought me back to reality and made me realize that Elba was fine, in bed asleep and I had been too. I was shaking so bad I thought I might fall over, so I remember squatting down and getting on the floor and then just laughing at the realization. Lou told me that he had woken up not by the commotion or the light being turned on, but rather by my blood curdling scream. I don't remember screaming at any point. I think I woke up when I was getting out of bed, but I'm honestly not sure...I was never aware that I woke up, that anything had changed, and I was so disoriented that I didn't for a second realize that the continuity of Elba missing didn't make sense. It was so real....and so very scary.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
16 MONTHS
Time is flying. I have been meaning to sit down and catch up on the blog for some time. The rash he had I'm pretty sure was the soap; now we have some eczema and a yeast rash currently to work on and makes things interesting. Crawling is so out these days; I can't remember the last time I saw him crawl. He has taken now to running; he likes it when I comment on how fast he goes. It's the little things. He is talking a lot now too. We saw my mom the other day, and he said 'Grandma'. When he isn't making understandable words (which unless he repeats something I said, that is the case) he is full of gobblygook; it is so cute. Favorites are to read stories and not so favorite is eating. I think he must be eating a lot at lunch at daycare because dinner is generally very limited. He picks and then throws his food on the floor, the universal sign for all done. Even though he can say all done, that is the preferred method for hasty removal of the chair.
I really need to get pictures off my camera and get better at taking them. The first 6 months I took pictures of everything and now I forget to bring the camera, forget to take pictures if I do, or forgot to change the battery pack. I was able to snap a few when we went trick or treating at my aunt's with her kids before the battery died. Elba dressed up as a bee and I used a previous year's Raggedy Ann costume. I had no intention of dressing up, but then I had a work event that I had to so thankfully my costume wasn't too inaccessible.
My current employer's insurance is ridiculously expensive to add a dependent ($40 min for me, but with a child $240 min)! So, I put him on the state's All Kids program. I make too much and have to pay $40/month for it, but that is much more reasonable. He got a TB test the other day when I brought him in the yeast rash and shots. But this doctor doesn't do 15 months shots and on their time line he was up to date (?) so I have to bring him next month instead. Well and tomorrow to check the TB (it's fine).
I'm still just totally wiped out by the end of the day...I don't think that is gonna change for a while unfortunately. I haven't been taking my thyroid pills as I should or drinking enough water. I'm sure that would help and I'm gonna try harder. Because I'm so busy during the day and then with Elba at night, I pretty much have no desire to look at any kind of screen in the evening and I've taken to reading, which I've always said I need to do more of anyway. It is my relaxing time. I wish I had the energy or motivation to work out. I think I really had it right in Michigan by going to the gym directly after work. Elba has been going to bed earlier, sometimes as early as 6:30 or 7, but generally 7:30pm. I don't think if I went to gym after work I'd be happy about the time spent with him though. I leave work between 5-6pm, so you do the math on how much QT I'm getting with him during the week. That stinks, but also why I cherish the weekends.
Since moving, I've been out to Michigan now twice for Mitch and his family to spend time with him. I'll be honest, it sucks. It sucks having to give up a weekend a month with Elba when I already have so little time with him. It sucks more to drive 10 hours once a month. I'm going again for November and Christmas. Mitch was supposed to come out in November but he can't take off work. I swore that I wasn't going to, but I feel guilty for Elba and I don't want him to not see them for two months. That is a long time for such a young age. I'm putting my foot down on January though...and I hate driving in snow/bad weather. I will pick anyone up at the train station, but I just am not comfortable making the drive in dangerous conditions. I'm sure that will be fine. Mitch didn't pressure me about November, it was my choice to go. If the weather is okay then I'd rather go now than when I really don't feel it is safe. Mitch and my relationship and communication have been very good. I even stayed over there last time I was out. I tried to occupy myself doing things and being away during the day. Elba is clingy and a bit of a Momma's boy if I'm around and I wanted them to enjoy their time together. It was nice to have time to myself and get some things done. I'm thinking of getting a massage and doing some Christmas shopping this next trip.
Okay, I'm just itching to get off the computer and I don't have much else to report on. Everything at work is great as well as things with Lou. He is working two part time jobs at the moment and hoping something will turn into full time. I'm just glad he found work and he is saving up for school next semester. It's a little bit of a grind right now, but I don't mind it; nothing is too difficult or stressful. It is actually kind of a peaceful routine we have going.
I really need to get pictures off my camera and get better at taking them. The first 6 months I took pictures of everything and now I forget to bring the camera, forget to take pictures if I do, or forgot to change the battery pack. I was able to snap a few when we went trick or treating at my aunt's with her kids before the battery died. Elba dressed up as a bee and I used a previous year's Raggedy Ann costume. I had no intention of dressing up, but then I had a work event that I had to so thankfully my costume wasn't too inaccessible.
My current employer's insurance is ridiculously expensive to add a dependent ($40 min for me, but with a child $240 min)! So, I put him on the state's All Kids program. I make too much and have to pay $40/month for it, but that is much more reasonable. He got a TB test the other day when I brought him in the yeast rash and shots. But this doctor doesn't do 15 months shots and on their time line he was up to date (?) so I have to bring him next month instead. Well and tomorrow to check the TB (it's fine).
I'm still just totally wiped out by the end of the day...I don't think that is gonna change for a while unfortunately. I haven't been taking my thyroid pills as I should or drinking enough water. I'm sure that would help and I'm gonna try harder. Because I'm so busy during the day and then with Elba at night, I pretty much have no desire to look at any kind of screen in the evening and I've taken to reading, which I've always said I need to do more of anyway. It is my relaxing time. I wish I had the energy or motivation to work out. I think I really had it right in Michigan by going to the gym directly after work. Elba has been going to bed earlier, sometimes as early as 6:30 or 7, but generally 7:30pm. I don't think if I went to gym after work I'd be happy about the time spent with him though. I leave work between 5-6pm, so you do the math on how much QT I'm getting with him during the week. That stinks, but also why I cherish the weekends.
Since moving, I've been out to Michigan now twice for Mitch and his family to spend time with him. I'll be honest, it sucks. It sucks having to give up a weekend a month with Elba when I already have so little time with him. It sucks more to drive 10 hours once a month. I'm going again for November and Christmas. Mitch was supposed to come out in November but he can't take off work. I swore that I wasn't going to, but I feel guilty for Elba and I don't want him to not see them for two months. That is a long time for such a young age. I'm putting my foot down on January though...and I hate driving in snow/bad weather. I will pick anyone up at the train station, but I just am not comfortable making the drive in dangerous conditions. I'm sure that will be fine. Mitch didn't pressure me about November, it was my choice to go. If the weather is okay then I'd rather go now than when I really don't feel it is safe. Mitch and my relationship and communication have been very good. I even stayed over there last time I was out. I tried to occupy myself doing things and being away during the day. Elba is clingy and a bit of a Momma's boy if I'm around and I wanted them to enjoy their time together. It was nice to have time to myself and get some things done. I'm thinking of getting a massage and doing some Christmas shopping this next trip.
Okay, I'm just itching to get off the computer and I don't have much else to report on. Everything at work is great as well as things with Lou. He is working two part time jobs at the moment and hoping something will turn into full time. I'm just glad he found work and he is saving up for school next semester. It's a little bit of a grind right now, but I don't mind it; nothing is too difficult or stressful. It is actually kind of a peaceful routine we have going.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Lovin' It
Elba is getting some more teeth in at the moment, and these ones are kickin' our butts. He also recently broke out in hives or some sort of rash that could be a few different things. I started using a new soap (we are thinking that is it) but we also went to Goeberts pumpkin farm on Sunday and there were pumpkins he was rolling around in, hay we sat on and two outdoor tents filled with different African animal (possible allergens) to choose from. He has been around both pumpkin and hay and he didn't touch any of the animals, so I'm pitching the soap and moving forward. On the bright side this doesn't seem to be bothering him since he is getting horribly painful teeth in too.
Elba is a walkin' fool! He rarely crawls anymore and totters around quite well. It is adorable. Do you know what isn't adorable? Tantrums...yes, we are getting there now. I've gotten a few "I want to do this thing you won't let me" full body throwing and screaming like you are stabbing me tantrums. It's quite scary. I'm consulting this years bible, Happiest Toddler on the Block, so I'll get back with you on how that goes. This weekend he didn't get enough sleep (neither did I) and we are all cranky about it. The three of us vowed to rest this upcoming weekend and spend some needed QT together. We moved into the new place about two weeks ago and it has been all business. After getting out of work, taking care of Elba and putting stuff away and getting settled, Lou and I haven't had much time to really do fun stuff or connect. I haven't gotten much downtime or time to myself either, so I'm starting to feel a little stretched thin and am really needing to take some time this weekend to relax. It's Lou's birthday on Saturday and when I asked him what he wants to do he said to just stay home and hang out together. Aww...I can do that.
Okay, may job...I LOVE MY JOB! I really enjoy what I do. It is a lot of fun. Less money, sure...less stress, gotta love that. Funny story; I got a call a few weeks ago from the hiring manager of Friendship Village looking for a Business Office Manager for their new building that would be about 20 minutes from where I live now (same distance) earning about what I was making in Michigan. I actually considered it for a minute; I'm fickle when it comes to money and am easily bought. Maybe not easily, but I took quite the pay cut and the thought of more money now was very appealing for a moment. Then I considered what the job entailed (not learning anything new) and how much I enjoy what I'm doing now and realized that the money wasn't worth it right now. Not to mention that I feel what I'm doing right now is really important for the long run of what I want to do overall. I'm doing really well also. Due to some crazy things the wait list they had here pretty much fell apart a few weeks into my starting. Well, it is right back to where it had started and I've brought some really great ideas to the table that not only impressed my bosses but also got results already. So...things are going well. Life is once again feeling sunny side up. Things with Lou are great; we are still learning to read each other and the other person's quirks. I have to also admit that having someone as helpful as he is; loving, patient and good tempered is such a breath of fresh air. I really feel so lucky to have him in my life and as a partner.
Elba is a walkin' fool! He rarely crawls anymore and totters around quite well. It is adorable. Do you know what isn't adorable? Tantrums...yes, we are getting there now. I've gotten a few "I want to do this thing you won't let me" full body throwing and screaming like you are stabbing me tantrums. It's quite scary. I'm consulting this years bible, Happiest Toddler on the Block, so I'll get back with you on how that goes. This weekend he didn't get enough sleep (neither did I) and we are all cranky about it. The three of us vowed to rest this upcoming weekend and spend some needed QT together. We moved into the new place about two weeks ago and it has been all business. After getting out of work, taking care of Elba and putting stuff away and getting settled, Lou and I haven't had much time to really do fun stuff or connect. I haven't gotten much downtime or time to myself either, so I'm starting to feel a little stretched thin and am really needing to take some time this weekend to relax. It's Lou's birthday on Saturday and when I asked him what he wants to do he said to just stay home and hang out together. Aww...I can do that.
Okay, may job...I LOVE MY JOB! I really enjoy what I do. It is a lot of fun. Less money, sure...less stress, gotta love that. Funny story; I got a call a few weeks ago from the hiring manager of Friendship Village looking for a Business Office Manager for their new building that would be about 20 minutes from where I live now (same distance) earning about what I was making in Michigan. I actually considered it for a minute; I'm fickle when it comes to money and am easily bought. Maybe not easily, but I took quite the pay cut and the thought of more money now was very appealing for a moment. Then I considered what the job entailed (not learning anything new) and how much I enjoy what I'm doing now and realized that the money wasn't worth it right now. Not to mention that I feel what I'm doing right now is really important for the long run of what I want to do overall. I'm doing really well also. Due to some crazy things the wait list they had here pretty much fell apart a few weeks into my starting. Well, it is right back to where it had started and I've brought some really great ideas to the table that not only impressed my bosses but also got results already. So...things are going well. Life is once again feeling sunny side up. Things with Lou are great; we are still learning to read each other and the other person's quirks. I have to also admit that having someone as helpful as he is; loving, patient and good tempered is such a breath of fresh air. I really feel so lucky to have him in my life and as a partner.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
New Beginnings
But let me back up a second. The tubing trip was fun. Cristy's visit was a blast and a little nerve wracking. Nerve wracking for two reasons, there was shipping drama when the place she had a quote from fell through and we had to scramble to figure out how to ship her stuff - USPS FTW! Secondly, her BF was being crazy; there is a lot more to that story, but I'll let her tell it on her blog! It was a blast for obvious reasons; it was great to be with my chicken again. We went out to Sushi House per tradition with the group and we also went out to Stiletto's to see Nina Flowers. It was an amazing and beautiful show. It sucks to see her go and I've promised to make a return trip, possibly for pride next year. That would be so much fun!
Okay, onward...I have started my job and lasted 4 whole days until Elba came down with hand, foot and mouth disease so that landed me home with a sick baby. I'm hoping to go to work tomorrow, but he still has some blisters on his feet that I'm hoping go away overnight. Poor little guy, he was in so much pain. I had to take him to the doctor and get Tylenol with codeine for him (and as a good faith effort get paperwork to show my boss that I was for realz!). The tricky part is that my health insurance ended on my last day of employment with HB. I called around and found a clinic that was low cost and would even help me complete the application for a state program for parents with uninsured children. I didn't have to pay out of pocket - score! We had visited friends with a baby the day before symptoms started and we are fearful he passed it along to her toddler, who is started to have some peculiar symptoms herself now.
I drove out here the Tuesday before last and had 3 days to procure daycare. I did so on Thursday after visiting 3 home day care providers. She charges $150/week which is what I was paying in Michigan (the others were $200-250), and is 5 minutes from work. I'm a little disappointed and this might now work out because even though she popped up in my search for providers with extended hours, she says she is done at 6pm and I will have late charges for the occasional after. I get that, but then update your freakin' info! I was hard up though, so I'm going with it for now.
Then I realized that I left my box of very important documents (like Elba's birth certificate, immunization records, etc. in MI). Along with the fact that I only had a few checks left and I also forgot those, I headed back on Friday and left Elba with my mom for the weekend. I'm glad I did, as there was a lot more packing & cleaning that I needed to do and I'd underestimated. I was able to sell my living room furniture for exactly what I still owed on it, so that took a load off. The other benefit was that I was able to see Louis.
Unlike my previous relationship, I'm happy to say that I can fully blog about the bliss that I'm in and gush about my entire life, not just the baby and work parts! So, Lou and I go back about 6 years ago when he was dating my room mate and I was also in a relationship. We had a wonderful friendship, and there was always an attraction there that was sort of ignored because of the situation. But it was there, and it was never forgotten. Well, long story short, it was brought out when we hung out before I left. He is exactly the same in the wonderful ways I loved about him before, is even more attractive, and has improved himself tremendously. If I could make a list of the perfect person for me, he totally fits the bill. Things are moving fast, and he is going to be relocating to Illinois with me when I go to get the rest of my stuff at the end of September. I'm really excited about where this is going and he is the fabulous guy I've ever known...this is serious business!
The housing search took an unexpected turn the other day when I started calling places to set up tours for this weekend when Louis comes to visit. Everywhere I called was reporting to me that they had NO VACANCY until maybe October, but maybe not until even later. I hadn't expected this, although I should have. Not only do most communities try to have their leases expire in the summer (when it is easier to fill), but with the housing market doing so poorly, that means apartments should be doing well. That is an understatement. I was shocked - Nothing?! I called a place that had an ad in the newspaper and she had 3 one bedroom apartments left. I got in my car, toured all 3 and picked one! I really wanted to do this part with Louis, but he said he understood too that it had to be done. Oh and yeah...a one bedroom. This will be a fun year! :) Taking a pay cut, having a huge car payment, hospital bills, and still repaying my student loans blows. I should be able to shovel out some this year though now!
My aunt and uncle are going to be disappointed. I'm staying with them right now (well, my Mom's at the moment so we don't pass along Elba's sickness to his 2 year old cousin) since I'm still paying rent in Michigan for August & September. They said I should stay there as long as I can to save money. I agree, this is a fantastic idea, but after doing the math it isn't that much of a savings in comparison to having my own established home. Okay, so I will be paying $450 for rent and utilities per month. If I stayed with aunt and uncle I need a storage unit for my stuff ($60/month average) and I'm driving 25 miles per day more ($120/month in gas). I'd also need to rent another truck when it was time to move from storage to the apartment. So, really the cost to move out is $270/month and I get back about 20 hours per month (40 minutes per day) of drive time. Elba also gets his own bedroom (yes, he is getting the huge bedroom to himself) and we can both sleep better. He wakes during the night and makes normal cries out, etc. but then I'm laying there listening to him debating if he is just fussing or do I need to do something. Whereas in his own room I think those small wakings I wouldn't even notice. I just feel like this is also a lot of change for him and I want to get him into a stable home that isn't going to change. I've delayed weaning from the bottle for this reason as well. He doesn't have any security objects so I can't take away his one favorite yet.
I've been through 4 days of training and I like it so far. I'm eager to get back to work, get fully trained and start doing my job.
Last but certainly not least - Elba walked today! He and I were sitting outside my Mom's house and he just stood right up and took about ten steps before going back down to crawl to the plant he wanted to inspect. They were wobbly, but he was on grass. He won't do it again for me, so I'm wondering if he has been secretly walking for a while now and forgot I was watching. Well, I'm counting it as first steps today although he has taken 1-3 steps before a few times. This was an official walking sited!
Oh, I haven't updated weight in a while. I think I've gained a little (maybe 5 lbs since being back in Illinois not being able to work out really and eating crappy). Working out at the gym in MI really did a lot for toning and making me feel great. But I think it was going back on Weight Watchers that really started having results (getting my points tracker out again now)! I'm down to 187 - that is 23 lbs less than pre-pregnancy. My clothes fit great and even are getting a little loose on me. Another ten and I think I'll have to start buying some new clothes. People have noticed and comment about how great I'm looking, which is an amazing incentive to keep up the good work. I only notice a little, but I love seeing the numbers keep going down on the scale...what a Choleric I am to love the challenge!
Okay, that is enough...I'm beat and ready for bed. It's been a crazy time lately and I will hopefully update again when I'm settled into the new place.
Okay, onward...I have started my job and lasted 4 whole days until Elba came down with hand, foot and mouth disease so that landed me home with a sick baby. I'm hoping to go to work tomorrow, but he still has some blisters on his feet that I'm hoping go away overnight. Poor little guy, he was in so much pain. I had to take him to the doctor and get Tylenol with codeine for him (and as a good faith effort get paperwork to show my boss that I was for realz!). The tricky part is that my health insurance ended on my last day of employment with HB. I called around and found a clinic that was low cost and would even help me complete the application for a state program for parents with uninsured children. I didn't have to pay out of pocket - score! We had visited friends with a baby the day before symptoms started and we are fearful he passed it along to her toddler, who is started to have some peculiar symptoms herself now.
I drove out here the Tuesday before last and had 3 days to procure daycare. I did so on Thursday after visiting 3 home day care providers. She charges $150/week which is what I was paying in Michigan (the others were $200-250), and is 5 minutes from work. I'm a little disappointed and this might now work out because even though she popped up in my search for providers with extended hours, she says she is done at 6pm and I will have late charges for the occasional after. I get that, but then update your freakin' info! I was hard up though, so I'm going with it for now.
Then I realized that I left my box of very important documents (like Elba's birth certificate, immunization records, etc. in MI). Along with the fact that I only had a few checks left and I also forgot those, I headed back on Friday and left Elba with my mom for the weekend. I'm glad I did, as there was a lot more packing & cleaning that I needed to do and I'd underestimated. I was able to sell my living room furniture for exactly what I still owed on it, so that took a load off. The other benefit was that I was able to see Louis.
Unlike my previous relationship, I'm happy to say that I can fully blog about the bliss that I'm in and gush about my entire life, not just the baby and work parts! So, Lou and I go back about 6 years ago when he was dating my room mate and I was also in a relationship. We had a wonderful friendship, and there was always an attraction there that was sort of ignored because of the situation. But it was there, and it was never forgotten. Well, long story short, it was brought out when we hung out before I left. He is exactly the same in the wonderful ways I loved about him before, is even more attractive, and has improved himself tremendously. If I could make a list of the perfect person for me, he totally fits the bill. Things are moving fast, and he is going to be relocating to Illinois with me when I go to get the rest of my stuff at the end of September. I'm really excited about where this is going and he is the fabulous guy I've ever known...this is serious business!
The housing search took an unexpected turn the other day when I started calling places to set up tours for this weekend when Louis comes to visit. Everywhere I called was reporting to me that they had NO VACANCY until maybe October, but maybe not until even later. I hadn't expected this, although I should have. Not only do most communities try to have their leases expire in the summer (when it is easier to fill), but with the housing market doing so poorly, that means apartments should be doing well. That is an understatement. I was shocked - Nothing?! I called a place that had an ad in the newspaper and she had 3 one bedroom apartments left. I got in my car, toured all 3 and picked one! I really wanted to do this part with Louis, but he said he understood too that it had to be done. Oh and yeah...a one bedroom. This will be a fun year! :) Taking a pay cut, having a huge car payment, hospital bills, and still repaying my student loans blows. I should be able to shovel out some this year though now!
My aunt and uncle are going to be disappointed. I'm staying with them right now (well, my Mom's at the moment so we don't pass along Elba's sickness to his 2 year old cousin) since I'm still paying rent in Michigan for August & September. They said I should stay there as long as I can to save money. I agree, this is a fantastic idea, but after doing the math it isn't that much of a savings in comparison to having my own established home. Okay, so I will be paying $450 for rent and utilities per month. If I stayed with aunt and uncle I need a storage unit for my stuff ($60/month average) and I'm driving 25 miles per day more ($120/month in gas). I'd also need to rent another truck when it was time to move from storage to the apartment. So, really the cost to move out is $270/month and I get back about 20 hours per month (40 minutes per day) of drive time. Elba also gets his own bedroom (yes, he is getting the huge bedroom to himself) and we can both sleep better. He wakes during the night and makes normal cries out, etc. but then I'm laying there listening to him debating if he is just fussing or do I need to do something. Whereas in his own room I think those small wakings I wouldn't even notice. I just feel like this is also a lot of change for him and I want to get him into a stable home that isn't going to change. I've delayed weaning from the bottle for this reason as well. He doesn't have any security objects so I can't take away his one favorite yet.
I've been through 4 days of training and I like it so far. I'm eager to get back to work, get fully trained and start doing my job.
Last but certainly not least - Elba walked today! He and I were sitting outside my Mom's house and he just stood right up and took about ten steps before going back down to crawl to the plant he wanted to inspect. They were wobbly, but he was on grass. He won't do it again for me, so I'm wondering if he has been secretly walking for a while now and forgot I was watching. Well, I'm counting it as first steps today although he has taken 1-3 steps before a few times. This was an official walking sited!
Oh, I haven't updated weight in a while. I think I've gained a little (maybe 5 lbs since being back in Illinois not being able to work out really and eating crappy). Working out at the gym in MI really did a lot for toning and making me feel great. But I think it was going back on Weight Watchers that really started having results (getting my points tracker out again now)! I'm down to 187 - that is 23 lbs less than pre-pregnancy. My clothes fit great and even are getting a little loose on me. Another ten and I think I'll have to start buying some new clothes. People have noticed and comment about how great I'm looking, which is an amazing incentive to keep up the good work. I only notice a little, but I love seeing the numbers keep going down on the scale...what a Choleric I am to love the challenge!
Okay, that is enough...I'm beat and ready for bed. It's been a crazy time lately and I will hopefully update again when I'm settled into the new place.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Fleeing Michigan
I have some pretty exciting news (depending on who you are). I have found and accepted a job in Bolingbrook, IL and will be starting on August 21st. Last year my old boss Shannon reached out to her old boss Colleen who is a regional director of senior living communities in Illinois. She told her my situation and that if anything came up I was wanted to move back home to Illinois. Well, a few weeks before Elba's birthday Colleen called and asked me to send my resume for an open Sales Director position. We had an interview while I was there for the birthday party and I got an offer when I got back home. I accepted and I'm pretty darn excited about it. My next career goal is be an executive director and you need to have direct sales experience generally. I was hoping a transfer might be an option since my current management company is being acquired by another (making it the largest in the country) but they have pushed back the date to Sept. 1 and chances of a transfer happening within the my time frame aren't good, so I'm taking this job. That isn't to say I'm not excited about it. I just would have liked to keep my benefits and seniority if possible. I'm actually quite excited about it. The community is beautiful, almost 100% occupied and has a wait list. Want to hear the best part? Some of things they do for outreach, being a tax credit property are volunteering within the community. Sounds very personally fulfilling as well. I'm a little overwhelmed right now thinking of moving, finding housing and daycare but I'm happy to know that soon things are going to be a bit easier and more calm. The bad news is the job is a significant pay cut for me and the cost of living is a little more expensive out there. I'm looking at at least $950-1,000 for a two bedroom apartment when that is what I'm paying here for a 3 bedroom townhouse. I'm guessing childcare will be more as well. The job is salary plus commission. Estimating my commission humbly, it is $5K less than my current salary. I might not get as much paid off (car, student loans, etc.) that I'd like but I'll still be able to live comfortably. I'm hoping that I can take some growth opportunities with this company if everything works out.
How did Mitch take it? That is what everyone keeps asking me. Well, we had talked during breakfast on fathers day about me still moving to Chicago and that conversation went very well. When I told him I accepted a job that interaction didn't quite go so well. He sort of said, "Hmm...congratulations" and that was it. When I later told him that I would have thought he would be happy and excited for me as my friend he said that no, he wasn't happy or excited for me because I am taking his boy far away from him. Okay...so that is how he is taking it. I'm hoping that when we move and things fall into place he will come around and be less....grumpy.
In 4 days Cristy is flying from CA to MI for our annual tubing trip (and to get her stuff out of my basement). I'm so excited to see her and can't wait! Yeah, so I went ahead and planned the last tubing trip for me likely. We have a smaller turnout than normal, but it should be fun nonetheless. Nate is coming out too...so that should be interesting. I'm very excited to see him as well. We also have Mitch, Justin and Jesse, Anne, Laura, Angie and Andrew.
Both birthday parties went very well. We did one party at Janet's and then one at my Mom's house the weekend after his bday. He held it together while and didn't meltdown so that was great. Both parties started at 2pm and wrapped up by 6ish. During our last pediatrician appointment (12 months) I asked for the next 'magic book' suggestion. I explained that Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child was the magic book that got me through once I understood sleep, colic and all that. So, I've downloaded Happiest Toddler on the Block to the Kindle and have started that one. I'm only maybe 20 pages in, but so far very good. It talks about how your toddler is more of a 'cave child' and not to think of them as 'little people' because they aren't. I like it...Okay, well the boy is going to wake up soon and we have a day off planned that we will need to get on.
How did Mitch take it? That is what everyone keeps asking me. Well, we had talked during breakfast on fathers day about me still moving to Chicago and that conversation went very well. When I told him I accepted a job that interaction didn't quite go so well. He sort of said, "Hmm...congratulations" and that was it. When I later told him that I would have thought he would be happy and excited for me as my friend he said that no, he wasn't happy or excited for me because I am taking his boy far away from him. Okay...so that is how he is taking it. I'm hoping that when we move and things fall into place he will come around and be less....grumpy.
In 4 days Cristy is flying from CA to MI for our annual tubing trip (and to get her stuff out of my basement). I'm so excited to see her and can't wait! Yeah, so I went ahead and planned the last tubing trip for me likely. We have a smaller turnout than normal, but it should be fun nonetheless. Nate is coming out too...so that should be interesting. I'm very excited to see him as well. We also have Mitch, Justin and Jesse, Anne, Laura, Angie and Andrew.
Both birthday parties went very well. We did one party at Janet's and then one at my Mom's house the weekend after his bday. He held it together while and didn't meltdown so that was great. Both parties started at 2pm and wrapped up by 6ish. During our last pediatrician appointment (12 months) I asked for the next 'magic book' suggestion. I explained that Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child was the magic book that got me through once I understood sleep, colic and all that. So, I've downloaded Happiest Toddler on the Block to the Kindle and have started that one. I'm only maybe 20 pages in, but so far very good. It talks about how your toddler is more of a 'cave child' and not to think of them as 'little people' because they aren't. I like it...Okay, well the boy is going to wake up soon and we have a day off planned that we will need to get on.
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