34 Weeks - Love it / Hate it

A few days ago there was a bit of a meltdown at work. Some employees of one of our partner companies were let go and instead of leaving quietly they threw a tantrum. I don't even want to go into all the details, but it was drama! My boss and I had to get involved, call the police and have them escorted out. Before the police arrived however, they were shouting, angry and lashing out even at me personally. Everything they were saying was ridiculous, but at one point I really thought one of the girls might attack me. I tried to stay very calm, not respond and really just try to diffuse the situation. I will tell you though, the adrenalin was pumping and my pulse was racing. I had just had lunch and Elba is most active after eating. That and all the excitement had him doing a dance. So since then I've been taking it easy and relaxing.

So, whats new in pregnancy land? I'm getting tired again, not as bad as the first trimester, but still pretty done by the time I get out of work. Sometimes I come home and take a nap while Mitch makes dinner, and then that means that I can stay up till maybe midnight until ten. But then I'm not sleeping very well at night, tossing and turning. Having to get up to pee a million times doesn't help especially if baby starts up when I lay back down because then I can't fall asleep. I'm getting excited about meeting my son. That sounds weird! My friend Jen just had her baby, and Mitch's friend just had his baby. My co-worker's wife is being induced this next week. Honestly, I'm pretty ready. I'm not looking forward to the next 6 weeks of TV, tiredness and feeling incredibly slothful and inactive. Or maybe that is just my feelings this week! I'm starting to not enjoy this as much. My feet and legs are pretty swollen at the end of every day now and my crotch perpetually hurts. Sounds funny, right? It feels like when you go bike riding for too long. I asked the doctor and she said it is my pelvic bones separating - nice! This was one of those new things I hadn't ever heard of.

I can deal with the physical burdens much more than the emotional ones though. I am down on myself. I have always been one to push and motivate myself to being productive and fulfilled. I have watched more TV in the past year than I think the last 10 years. I'm not joking. I had avoided cable for years and was pretty adamant that TV is a colossal waste of time. Okay I still have kept shows that I watch, but I'm more of the rent the DVD type and pretend it is a movie. I've never been a channel surfer. Now I have a DVR. I can record and watch anything I want and skip the commercials too! I have taken leaps backward! I am ready to cancel the cable again...after having the baby. But until then, I am beating myself up for being such a bum. This weekend, I had two gatherings Friday night to attend. The plan was hit one for two hours, hit the other and be back before midnight because I am working this weekend. I shouldn't have come home. I took my clothes off to change, had a bowl of cereal for dinner and faced the choice of putting clothes back on and going out and having a secret rendezvous with the couch in my jammies. Guess which won...and I feel so guilty, but on the other hand, is it excused? Can't I just stay home , shrug my shoulders and say "I'm 8 1/2 months pregnant!" and let that excuse cover any hurt feelings? Don't I get a free pass this once? Or is that just my own guilty conscience talking? Like I said, I'm pretty ready already to do this. They say a baby changes everything. I hope so!

33 Weeks

The ultrasound revealed that the placenta has moved over more than 3 cm at this time, so that is a go for vaginal birth! It is hard to think about my time being pregnant coming to an end soon and having Elba actually here. I am so excited to meet him, but also getting more and more scared of the big event as it looms closer. I keep reminding myself that many women with less pain tolerance and bravery have done this successfully. So far that helps for now.

I had one of the best weekends with Mitch. We didn't do anything special, but we just really got along well and connected this weekend. Maybe because I was out of town for a few days this week in Chicago at a work conference, I don't know, but it was really nice. I can't say the same for Mother's Day weekend. We ended up fighting over stupid things. I think it was a combination of my being hormonal and crazy and him not being the most patient and understanding that day. For some reason normal communication was not within our grasp and we opted for retreating to neutral corners. Well I can say that now looking back, but at the time we were both pretty fired up and not too happy with each other. I of course felt a bit of a martyr as well, pitying my first Mothers Day as a horrible failure.

32 Weeks - First Mothers Day!

I bought a new car! A bright and shiny 2008 Honda CR-V now is what I'm sporting around in these days. I'd decided over the last year or so that I wanted a small SUV for extra storage for traveling (and now baby too!), and realized I wanted to stay true to Honda because I love them so. I'm pushing almost 200 thousand miles on the 2000 Civic and it is still a champ. This left me basically between the Element and CR-V. Both cars are great, but I don't like the boxy Element nearly as much as the sweet looking CR-V, so there you have it! I went to Honda Bloomfield and was helped by Ron, who I recommend for your used car needs. I feel like I'm big pimpin' when I drive and I haven't had THAT feeling for a while! I won't let Mitch drive the new car. He is a better driver than I am, it isn't that I'm afraid he will wreck it. It is just my little treat right now that I'm keeping all to myself. :)

Other than that, nothing else new really. I have to go next week for another ultrasound to see if the placenta is moved over enough so that I don't have to have a C-section. Tomorrow is Mother's Day - I guess this is my first as a mother instead of a daughter! I did a short speech about being a new mother at our resident function at work. I talked about seeing Mother's Day from a new perspective and ended with a very nice George Washington quote.

Speaking of work, I applied for a transfer to a Chicago property but didn't get it. The regional director said she had already hired someone before getting my request. I believe this, and she also talked about in the future that being a possibility. So, I'm brushing up on the marketing side of things and learning more about the differences in senior housing and residential so hopefully next go around I'll be ready. I was looking forward to maybe moving back to the Chicago area, but staying is good too! :)

29 Weeks - All Clear

Well, I'm no longer on pelvic rest! And haven't heard anything about my glucose test, and since no news is good news that means that everything is fine. I was horrified at the thought of having to stick my fingers repeatedly through the day. I'm okay with getting blood drawn from anywhere and shots are fine too, but prick my fingers? No way man.

Mitch and I went to our child birthing class yesterday. It was very helpful and informative. They go over everything that can happen at the hospital, pain medication options, breathing, some breastfeeding/bottle feeding tips, and newborn care. We both said we felt the class was good and we were glad we did it. The lady that did the class also gave us permission to call with questions now or after we have the baby with any questions. What a lady! She just asks that you call before midnight or her family startles awake thinking there is a family emergency.

I posted the pictures of the shelves I painted and Mitch hung. I should probably take more belly pictures again, as I've noticed I've gotten much bigger this past month. Moving around is getting a bit more cumbersome, like rolling over in bed and getting up from the couch. I know, this is only going to get worse...on the bright side, we are seeing so many big kicks now that my whole belly moves and swirls at times that I become entranced just watching it for a while.

Oh, I had my first real baby dream. I've had pregnancy dreams and dreams where I have a wrapped up sort of faceless baby in my arms, but the other night I had a dream where I had a real life baby and I could see his face (they all kind of look alike when they are newborns anyway). It was a pretty vivid dream and damn cool!

Baby junk aside, I think Southfield is sucking the life out of me. This area is filled with some of the meanest, jerkiest people I've ever encountered. The difference between the 15 miles from here to Livonia even is ridiculous. I don't know what it is, being so close to the crap hole that is Detroit? But most of the people here are just horrible. Southfield is a nice suburb, and I live in a nice area. There are no broken down, junky looking beaters in my complex. I am not in the ghetto. But the attitude of people here, at the grocery store, EVERYWHERE (Even the way people drive out here reflects this lack of concern for others) - The people here are so...inconsiderate and rude. I don't get it. I can't wait for my lease to be up and I'll commute the half hour to work just so I don't have thoughts of hurting my fellow citizens. And it's bad when I'm this way. I am very caring, a supporter and defender of all people, and that that I am so disgusted on a daily basis by almost everyone I encounter...I feel guilty about this!

Week 27 - Shower Plans

Shower dates are picked, and with little turbulence. I had some more pregnancy brain and told my aunt's the weekend options that I was actually working instead of having off. We decided on a weekend, only for me to discover, much my dismay, that I'm working and in fact can not attend my baby shower. :) So, they let me reschedule thankfully to a weekend that will work! May 15th it is for the Illinois crowd*, hosted by my lovely, helpful and very responsible Aunt Natalie and Aunt Coleen. Mitch's mom will be coming out with me to meet the family (everyone is very excited about this all around) and we are leaving Daddy to be at home. I'm really looking forward to girl time - I really like talking with Janet. Speaking of, she and Anne have also graciously offered to throw me a shower here in Michigan. These two lovely ladies will be bringing everyone together June 12th.

*The Illinois date is now a little up in the air at the moment with some recent changes.

Weird - I feel like I've written this before already...dejavu and pregnancy brain combined maybe?

I had another ultrasound a few days ago and the placenta isn't over my cervix anymore, but only by a centimeter or so. I have my doctors visit tomorrow and I'm betting they are going to tell me I'm still on pelvic rest! I'm also having my glucose tested this time. My bet is on having gestational diabetes, hands down. I don't really have any symptoms...I just figure that is another good, but moderate thing to get to make up for no morning sickness. I feel like I need more battle stories or something, like this has been too easy! Yeah, shut my mouth...I know.

25 Weeks - Growing Pains

My hips are killin' me! I've always had pain in my hips when I've been sitting too long, and lately it's getting pretty horrible. Mitch did some research for me and found that hip pain is common, especially among women of Scandinavian decent. Yup, got that from my Dad. Man this sucks....it feels almost exactly like the sciatica I had a run in with when I was about 20. I've been stretching and using the heating pad. I'm gonna ask the doctor next visit if there are any other remedies, or if I should go get massages (you know, because it would then be doctor recommended and not just a pampering thing!) maybe?

I've been a bit down on myself for not being as active as I should be. I decided to start walking more, either home from work (only about 2 miles), or at least around the neighborhood or something. The weather has turned and it has been beautiful lately. So, that same day I stuck to my guns and headed to CVS. I was halfway there and I got what felt like a side stitch, but lower in my abdomen. Not horribly painful, but worrisome nonetheless. CVS is only 3 or 4 blocks from my house. What a slacker I've become. Less than a year ago I was hiking 8-15 miles consistently! I'm going to ask the doctor about this too. I'm a little concerned since I have the Previa going on and the last thing I need is to get myself on bed rest for the last two months. So, I'm disappointed but gonna take it real easy for a bit. Better safe than sorry I guess.

I'll also take a moment to gloat about how wonderful Mitch has been. In the beginning when I was going through absolute exhaustion he was pretty much doing everything for me; cooking, cleaning, laundry. I mean, he would get up and get me a refill during dinner just so I didn't have to get up. I've taken back some household chores, but he is still such a huge help to me. He is going to be a great Dad! He gets into baby stuff, like hearing about how big little bean is getting (half a gallon of milk right now!), or laying with me to feel him kick. He is reading the Daddy book I got him, but he also flips through my What to Expect book, as well as this awesome infant encyclopedia sort of book that my Aunt's friend got for me. He's pretty super!

Lastly, a big thank you to my Aunt Natalie and Uncle Dean. My little cousin Jack is 7 months right now and I got the first of many donations they are planning to make to my needy family! No really though, tons of baby clothes and other baby necessities. She helped me sit down and create my registry list, something I really was putting off. I'm so thrifty that I don't feel like I really need any of it. She helped me think of the things I do need and what is a waste. My Aunt Coleen and Uncle Dave are also letting me borrow their crib and dresser - another huge item I can cross off! Thank you all so much...love you bunches!

24 Weeks - Phatty Lootz!

Things are still going well. I've had bursts of energy these past few weeks, like the second semester crack kicked in late or something. Could this be the beginning of 'nesting'? Hmm, what else? I've also been noticing some heartburn, which is very different for me. I think I can count on my two hands how many times I've had heartburn in my life. Its probably the same amount so far within the last couple of weeks. A lot of people notice getting it after eating too much or a certain kind of food. I've been getting it when I've got an empty stomach and I'm hungry.

Work is still going great. I just got my first review. It went really well, like really really well. That makes me feel more secure about taking time off to have the baby. I still feel bad having gotten pregnant so soon after starting my new job, like that is the nightmare every boss tries to avoid. Which is really horrible that we have that view in America and our maternity benefits are the worst of almost every other country...but that is a discussion for another time! So I try really hard to do my best and often go above and beyond with everything I do, and it is a great feeling of validation to really be appreciated and acknowledged for it. I feel lucky about that. A lot of people feel under appreciated in their job, which often then de-motivates them. I know I've been there. It really speaks a lot of my boss too for giving me credit and acknowledging me for all I do.

The other day we went over to Mitch's moms house picked up three bags of baby clothes...CUTE stuff too! I looked at it, but haven't sorted yet. Okay, this isn't just my OCD coming out. I'm only going to be in the apartment for three months with the baby (its 1 bedroom and will be too small very soon), so I want to have out what I need (0-6 months?) and keep packed up the extras.

Sigh...it was a good week!